TLP409: The Audience is the Hero With Rick Tocquigny

In this episode, Rick Tocquigny, a distinguished mentor, founder, and the voice behind the “Success Made to Last” podcast, as well as an accomplished author and Pulitzer Prize finalist, delves into the profound realization that serving others holds greater significance than mere personal success. This insight became particularly poignant following the loss of close family members. Rick places high value on asking meaningful questions and sharing narratives of resilience. He underscores the critical role of passing down life lessons to preserve family histories, drawing on examples like his mother's experiences during World War II. Furthermore, Rick highlights the imperative for startup leaders to align their actions with their core values from the outset, ensuring cohesion and adherence to these principles, especially in financially challenging times. He also sheds light on the importance of collaboration and strategic planning in the early stages of a startup, asserting that while monetary concerns are paramount initially, the synergy of a united team is equally crucial for success.   Key Takeaways:   [04:52] Rick shares that he started caring more about helping others after losing some important people in his life. He realized that making a real difference is more important than just being successful. Helping others and leaving a good impact became his main goal, even if it's not noticed by everyone. Rick also believes that it's all about making the world a better place, no matter what happens.   [11:11] He mentions that he appreciates a thought-provoking question and discusses the significance of curiosity and deep questioning. Rick also highlights that he finds inspiration in stories like "My Side of the Mountain" that explore survival and self-discovery. Drawing from their time at Procter & Gamble, he stresses the importance of asking insightful questions to uncover meaningful stories.    [16:22] Rick explains that his project of sharing life lessons began after losing his parents in 2003 and 2005. He realized the importance of preserving family stories, like their mom's experience in World War II, which inspired him to encourage others to do the same. While some veterans might be hesitant due to PTSD, Rick urges people to record stories for future generations, even if it means ensuring accuracy by gathering facts.    [19:16] He shares a touching story from his book about a teacher in Arkansas who rearranged her classroom, leaving her students confused. Eventually, she revealed that the desks and chairs were provided by veterans. This gesture was a powerful reminder of the sacrifices made by veterans for the freedom enjoyed every day. Rick then emphasizes the importance of honoring and remembering the contributions of veterans and their families.   [23:54] Rick explains that if an organization's core values don't align with its strategic direction, they won't contribute to success. He also mentions the importance of integrating core values into daily operations and decision-making processes. Without this integration, core values can seem superficial and meaningless. Furthermore, if employees don't believe in the core values, they won't influence behavior or contribute to the strategy.    [26:40] He reflects on leadership in startup environments, emphasizing the importance of aligning core values from the beginning. Rick stresses the need for leaders to exemplify collaboration and alignment with core values, especially in startup scenarios where resources may be limited. He suggests that podcasts should focus on speaking to entrepreneurs starting their own businesses rather than Fortune 500 executives, as these individuals are navigating the real-world challenges of building a company from the ground up. Rick also highlights the significance of strategy and culture in shaping the success of a startup, noting that while culture is important, practical concerns like making payroll take precedence in the early stages of business development.   [32:48] Rick expresses gratitude for his mentors who have influenced his understanding of success and significance. He mentions Preston Paddon, known for his role in negotiating the NFL contract with Fox, who taught them the importance of resilience and rolling with rejection. Finally, Rick highlights Frank Blake, former CEO of Home Depot, who shared a valuable lesson about aligning personal interests, skills, and market demand to guide career choices. He also emphasizes the significance of considering passion, proficiency, and market demand in career decisions.   [31:20] He talks about how everyone feels lonely sometimes and wishes for deeper connections with others. Rick mentions that despite success, many people feel something is missing or have regrets about not spending enough time with loved ones. He also notes that everyone has their own struggles and imperfections, and some people spend a lot of time trying to be perfect in their careers, without success. He says that societal pressures, like those seen on LinkedIn, can add to feelings of inadequacy. Rick then suggests being more understanding of others' struggles instead of expecting perfection.   [33:05] Rick reflects on the misconception that retirees simply party a lot, suggesting instead that they often uphold traditional family values, faith, and patriotism. He shares a personal regret about moving away from their parents to pursue a career opportunity with PepsiCo, realizing in hindsight that they sacrificed valuable time with their young children and missed out on the support of his parents. Rick expresses regret for prioritizing career ambition over family connections, and wishes he had made a different choice.   [35:17] He encourages others to prioritize listening and collaboration in their relationships, following the ratio of two ears to one mouth. Rick emphasizes the importance of embracing collaboration to maximize everyone's skills, echoing advice from their mentor. He advocates for approaching life with a mindset of "spontaneous structure," balancing structure with spontaneity to engage in meaningful conversations and experiences. Rick also urges people to seize opportunities, even if it means taking risks or facing challenges, and to prioritize making a positive impact on both themselves and others.   [46:17] Closing Quote: Remember, a human being would certainly not grow to be 70 or 80 years old if this longevity had no meaning for the species. The afternoon of human life must also have a significance of its own and cannot be merely a pitiful appendage to life's morning. -Carl Jung   Quotable Quotes: "Success is commonly associated with reaching a high level of wealth and often status, a self-centered role."   "Significance is about making a positive difference, leaving a legacy, and contributing to the betterment of society."   "Don't expect anybody to say thank you to you."   "It's about giving back without anybody noticing and just feeling good about it and doing something for somebody else."   "Giving your time and effort to others actually has a positive physical effect on you."   "Everybody can get more when they give."   "The audience is the hero."   "You just have to get to that wisdom within a person or their personal experience."   "Take the time to ask these people before they're gone about their stories."   "Record history in a fun and factual manner."   "Keep the history of your families going."   "Get as many of the facts in as possible."   "Walk the talk yourself first as a collaborator and a person who leads alignment."   "We are all broken people, and we are all on this personal journey and odyssey."   "Some people wander through life like the mountain lion by your house who doesn't know exactly where he's going, but he needs his next meal."   "People need people and they need friends."   "Take more time for friends and family; less time for work."   "Everybody is a sinner, so no one's perfect."   "Approach any relationship as a collaboration and how you can get the best out of everyone's skill set."   "Roll with it, have more fun, laugh more, and consider structuring your life under this kind of new way of doing things."   “You got one life to live. Go live it and have fun and go make a difference for yourself, but make a difference for others first."   These are the books mentioned in our discussion with Rick:     Resources Mentioned: The Leadership Podcast | Sponsored by | Rafti Advisors. LLC | Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | Rick Tocquigny LinkedIn | Success Made to Last Website | Robert Hargrove Website | Success Made to Last Instagram | Success Made to Last Twitter |