Episode 45: Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate with Gabrielle Hartley, Esq.

This week I am joined by the fabulous, Gabrielle Hartley, Esq. Gabrielle is a leading divorce attorney and is the author of Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate. Gabrielle founded the positive divorce movement and is known for keeping 99% of her cases at the negotiation table and out of the courtroom.  With her book, Better Apart, she has created a complete Bible on how to get through your divorce in the most positive and elegant way possible. And I just love that word, elegant. Can you imagine your divorce being described as elegant? Her book is the first of its kind to combine the life-changing and healing wisdom of mindfulness, meditation, and yoga with practical advice and legal wisdom to get the reader through and beyond divorce. I cannot recommend her book highly enough.  Gabrielle joins me to talk about the five elements of the Better Apart Method. She answers the question, “Can divorce really spark joy?” and talks about how to create an elegant divorce for you and your children.  Show Highlights The positive divorce movement can spark the change we need in the world of divorce (3:10) Can divorce really spark joy? (4:02) Clearing the emotional clutter can help regulate your response to common divorce triggers (6:03) If you struggle with responding versus reacting, give yourself the permission you need to make space in your body first (8:20) Creating an elegant divorce for you and your children (13:50) Many of the relationships we have are dictated, partially, in how we interact with those people; plus understanding we are not responsible for others behaviors or choices (16:46) The five elements of the Better Apart Method and some exercises to put them into practice: patience, respect (respecting the process and yourself), peace (noticing the neutral), clarity (where we go from blame game to active visionary), and forgiveness (forgiving yourself will provide emotional freedom). (18:52) In order to move forward, we need to take a big step back; plus how reflective listening and marriage counseling can help you even if you do decide to divorce (37:24) Learn More About Gabrielle: Gabrielle Hartley Esq. , is a leading divorce attorney, mediator, case closer, author and speaker. She founded The Positive Divorce Movement and is the creator of The Better Apart Method. She is known for keeping 99% of her cases at the negotiation table and out of the courtroom.   Her new book, Better Apart; The Radically Positive Way to Separate (Harper Collins) is the first book of its kind to combine the life changing, healing wisdom of mindfulness, meditation and yoga with practical advice and legal wisdom to get the reader through and beyond the divorce. Better Apart was named “the conscious uncoupling how-to” by People Magazine. She been featured throughout media channels including The New York Times, U.S. News and World Report, The New York Post,Yoga Journal, Mind Body Green, The Hampshire Gazette, The Brian Lehrer Show.  She is a regular guest and blogger featured on local television and radio as well as dozens of podcasts and blogs around the world.   Gabrielle is on the faculty of The American Bar Association (ABA) Mediation Institute and is a sub-committee chair at the ABA Dispute Resolution Section. She is also a member of the Association of the Bar of the City of New York, The Hampshire Bar Association and the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation. Gabrielle is committed to wellness and technological innovation in the divorce space. She serves as advisor to the FAYR co-parenting application.  She is former Court Attorney to Judge Jeffrey Sunshine.   Gabrielle maintains a private law, mediation and coaching practice in Northampton, Massachusetts and in New York City where she offers live and online consultation and mediation. Work with Gabrielle at gabriellehartley.com.