Real vs Fake Doms: How to Tell Them Apart (ft. Sir Marvelous)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with pleasure coach, intimacy educator, and professional Dom Sir Marvelous for a conversation about real dominance, fake Doms, pleasure-centered sex, and why communication and patience are the foundation of good BDSM—and good sex in general. This episode breaks down what dominance actually looks like beyond performance, how to spot manipulative dynamics early, and why prioritizing pleasure leads to deeper trust, safety, and better sex.

In this episode, Alexa and Sir Marvelous discuss:

• What actually makes someone a real Dom vs a fake Dom
• Why “pleasure Dom” is often misunderstood and misused
• How fake Doms weaponize submissive language on dating apps
• Manipulation, rushing dynamics, and early red flags
• Patience as the most attractive and essential Dom skill
• Why dominance is about giving and not controlling
• Why dominance doesn’t have to include pain, whips, or chains
• Eating pussy before, during, and after penetration
• Anxiety, erections, and why losing one isn’t a failure
• Strap-ons, toys, and removing ego from penetration
• Asking better questions about pleasure and satisfaction
• The brain as the biggest sex organ
• Post-sex debriefing: what worked, what didn’t, what to do more of
• Advocating for pleasure in Dom/sub dynamics
• Beginner Dom mistakes to avoid
• Why Doms should experience submission or bottoming
• Performative dominance vs authentic presence

Thank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈