Let's Talk About Sexual Shame

Episode4: Let's Talk About Sexual Shame Explicit What is Sexual Shame?“Sexual shame refers to the feeling of profound responsibility and deep remorse associated with participation in and/or thoughts and fantasies about sexual activity.”  - Dr. Kelifern Pomeranz, Psy.D., CST (Clinical Psychologist, Certified Sex Therapist, Coach, and Relationship Expert)"A high level of sexual shame can place an individual at risk for sexual dysfunction, impaired relationships, and sexual acting out.” - Dr. Kelifern Pomeranzhttps://www.drpomeranz.com/sexual-shameWhat do people feel shame about?Body acceptancePleasureIntimacyDesireLustIntercourseMasturbationOrgasm ArousalFelling SexyWhere does it come from?ReligionSex only in marriageOnly for procreation in some casesPleasure is not a reason in itselfSinfulConversion TherapyFamilyReaction to child masturbationHow sex was talked about in the homeValues/moralsSociety/Cultureschool sex education (sex positive vs abstinence)Nursing in publicThe MediaIdealized versions of sexSlut shamingSocial media constantly blocking posts including words like sex, erotic, vulva….TraumaSexual abuseRape or attempted rapeWhy do sex and shame often go together?Sex historically has been connected to value and virtuePatriarchalVirginity/Purity is equated with valueMen as a conquestWomen have been taught that their sexuality should be hiddenSlut-shaming vs conquestModesty - women are often taught that they are responsible for the thoughts and actions of menSexual deviance was often considered a mental health disorderSexual identityGender identityReligious ControlIt’s the one thing that most people universally desire and therefore need to keep coming back for forgiveness or conformMake it sinful and shamefulMake pleasure selfish and sinfulHow does it affect us?I clearly remember that when I got married, my husband tried to call me “sexy” and I was so uncomfortable with that termI didn’t want to be seen as a sex objectIt aided to shut down an erotic side of our relationshipWe end up struggling to talk about sexIt’s badWe don’t enjoy itWe have an aversion to...